Motivationl Post #4

Every single moment. This isΒ a habit for me.

 

Playing the scenes in my head

Ha ha, every scene I can think of. Hilarious, corny, cheesy, etc. scenes. For example, how I will tell someone I love her. A scene flashes in my head. It may be good, bad or neither. But mostly scenes that favor me. I know it looks sad, but sometimes I need it. Life kicks me too hard in the nuts, it keeps me sane picturing this scenes because it MAY really happen. :)

Practicing the things I want to say

Well, practice makes perfect right? And yeah, not everything I need to say comes at night, so sometimes I am off guard. People say we should think before we talk, well I agree, but sometimes, the first thing that comes to your mind is the most honest reply/idea you could say, so most of the times, I talk off the bat. Practice is good in some things, not all.

Having endless “What If’s”

What if this, what if that. This is always the highlight of my night, nay, midnight till morning. Why? Everyday, I really have endless what if’s going through my mind. Sometimes, it becomes my dream and I steer to the good things that may happen. But mostly, it keeps me up awake all night or midnight long. It sucks really. When I want to sleep by 12am, I sleep really 2am. Worst scenario? I don’t sleep at all. That’s the impact of the what if’s I think about everyday. It’s a habit that I can’t get out of my system. We are all unsure in life, and I wish some people can relate to this.

Making plans for the next day

Yeah I do, sometimes it happens, sometimes it doesn’t. It is kinda great if you could reach your goal for the day. Finishing a task or a plan, but it’s okay to become unpredictable sometimes. I am not, but I tend to befriend people with different personalities so my days become like getting a set of numbers at the lotto, very random.

Thinking of all the people I miss

100% true. Combined with having endless what if’s, meaning sleepless nights, I always think about the people I miss. From the people I haven’t seen since high school to the people I haven’t seen for like 3 hours? Ha ha. And most of the time, by 2am-5am, if I’m still awake, I text the people I miss. No man is an island, very true.

Thinking of all the ones I hate

Well, kinda. I don’t really hold grudges to anyone. You may get me mad but in a while it’ll be all gone. There’s no room for hate in my vocabulary. And we have little time to really have fun in life, I don’t want to show hate to anybody. I find it useless. After a while though, because the time I get mad is like hell for a moment. :))

Asking myself a lot of questions

Do you think I’m crazy if I do that? Ha ha. For me it’s normal. Well, of course it doesn’t look like I’m talking to myself. I just verbally ask questions to the air and answer it in my mind. Ha ha. Okay, I look crazy, but what the hell. I don’t know why, but yeah that’s a habit too. :)

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Motivational? Post #3

This was what happened last last friday.

Where I stayed outside and just felt everything inside. It’s hard to pretend, but after showing how hurt you are, it’s harder to pretend now. But you know, my professor was right. If I do this still, I am not myself anymore. And I don’t want that to happen ’cause to everyone I meet or hang out with, I just show who I really am. There’s nothing cool in pretending that way. Be open, ’cause someone cares. From that moment on, I knew that someone or some people care about me. And it’s nice to realize that. :)

A Cat Person

CAT!

I am a cat person. :)

 

Yes, it is kinda weird to see a guy which is a cat person. If I were to pick from a cat and dog, yes it would be a cat. Why? Well they’re cuddly and I like how sweet they are inside the house. Although they are unpredictable sometimes, and can scratch the hell out of your skin. But then again look at how cute that thing is. :)) Cats rule. :D

Motivational Post #2

ReasonA hundred to one.

 

You know. When I loved someone, there were some people asking why her. I mean not just that question, but a sarcastic-like “Siya?” or “Seriously?”, it actually ticked me off like “What? Why not?”. I did sulk for a while that time but they supported me. I can’t fight what I feel, lalo na kung totoo ang nararamdaman ko. You can’t fake it, take the risk. If everyone gave me a reason to leave Rika, I would always find the reason to fight for her. Because I know in myself, that this is something that I will never regret. It may be early tosay, but it is also too early to give up. :)

Motivational Post #1

Couple

Random posts from my Tumblr.

Agree? I agree hands down. People who have the same character as their couple would be great in the knowing phase. But what happens in the other phases? Sometimes the relationship Β would feel to predictable. And for me, it’s unbearable. I love an unpredictable girl in my life right now. But yeah we’re not a couple, but the fact that I know we have our differences, I know if ever that day comes, I would love the idea of it. :)

Fear of Heights

I have this fear, and this fear encompasses all of my other fears. And I don’t know how I got it, because in the family, I was the only one afraid of heights.

 

It did become a big factor when I was growing up. For instance, every time I was strolling the mall, I can never look below, even if I was just at the second floor. A sensual feeling just creeps up to my feet and my body starts to shake. I feel like anytime I will fall down, and it scares me to death. I have been this kid ever since, and look at me now, a third year college student. When you drag me to great heights, I still feel that thing that just makes me close my eyes, until everything is over. I have never ever tried going to high places, unless I think it’s fun. Like the Jungle Log Jam at Enchanted Kingdom. That was the only time I volunteered to ride without hesitation. Although yeah I was scared, I managed to think my way out through it. I can’t remember how but I did it.

 

But there are some places I’d go, or rides I’ll try without much hesitation, provided that some one is there when I do it. How? Example. Me and my friends are talking about going to Enchanted Kingdom, and I was like, yeah sure, it’s great there. Until some one mentioned the Space Shuttle. One look at the Space Shuttle, a portion of me died if ever I thought I was going to ride that. And they kept begging I should ride it. But there was some one there that made me feel confident that I can. And yes, you guessed it right it’s Rika. And so yes, I agreed, but when will that be, a long time I suppose. Then last Sunday, we were at Star City, (complements to the show Tatlong Kwento ni Lola Basyang, which was awesome by the way) they all wanted me to ride the Star Flyer. At first I was like whaaaaaat?! No. You’re kidding me right? No way. But then again she wanted me to ride too. And when she asked, it’s like the fear suddenly subsided.

 

All the time that I was in the long line, I didn’t feel that scared. ‘Cause I know she was there. I remembered the moment when we were about to go and fall in line, while walking, I noticed Rika wasn’t around. I stopped that time and told my buddy Sam “Sam, asan si Rika? di ako sasakay dun kung wala si Rika.” Then we wen’t back to where we left the group and found out that one of our mates were leaving. And so the story continues. After like 2 hours of waiting, we were finally in front of the line. They pushed me more so I will be in front, but I just walked my way to the front seat, while Sam was beside me (I was shy to ask Sam and Rika, but I wanted Rika to be the one beside me), and the ride started… Then it ended. The first words I muttered were “Onga, bitin nga.” Then Sam said, “Sabe ko sa’yo eh!” Ha ha.

 

And there I was conquering my fear. Oh and yeah we had pictures of those. You could see from the picture how scared I was from the ride, but I realized halfway, it was fun. Here’s to me a step closer to conquering my fear. :D Star FlyerΒ βœ“. Space Shuttle (*GULP!*)Β βœ—. :)

Parallel Universe

Sometimes I wonder how I do in my Parallel Universe. Many-worlds, that branch out from the different choices we have to make every single minute. Hmm, keeps me thinking if I am a lot better than the other me.

 

For starters, would me there had been a rebel in my family? Hmm, if not, I am a good child there. Ha ha. Always following orders of my parents, not giving a damn what they want me to do. I might be better that way if you think about it. Me here is like, “Could you do this?” -Mom. “Eh, later.”-Me. Until I forget to do it. And I have secrets to keep. It’s fun for me here, I don’t know why.

 

Next, would me there be studying well? ‘Cause me here is like floating somewhere else. I always wondered if I can become a Dean’s Lister here. But I think I have a higher probability there. But then again who knows? I think I can make it here, and I hope so. :)

 

Then, would me there be the same musician as I am here? Would I take up Conservatory of Music instead of BS Information Technology? Hmm, I’d like to see how far me there can go in that branch of decision. I’ve always wanted to study that course, but the way I see it, I can earn more from this course, which is BS IT.

 

Next, I have this lingering feeling inside that sometimes tells me to be an actor and of course a singer. I always watched different shows and sitcoms, and sometimes I wondered, what if I was to act that certain scene. I tried acting time and time when no one is looking, ’cause I was shy. But there’s like something inside me, that wants to come out, maybe someday, if something or some one could trigger it. Singing is my hobby, it’s au naturel. And singing every song like I was in the music video, or even at a big stage is one of my dreams in life. Could me there have done well in this branch? :)

 

Lastly, the love branch. I think me there has a girl already, to love and to care for. Just like me here. But then again, who? Ha ha. The possibilities are endless when it come to thinking of this. We could meet any person with just the slightest of change in decisions. Talking a shortcut, going at the mall, picking the right resto to eat at, etc. It’s unpredictable. I wonder if me there has met the people I have met in this world. Especially the people I am close to today. :)

 

If me there hasn’t met Rika there, oh God. He sucks. Yeah, hear me out Erick there. :)) You suck if you haven’t met Rika. She’s truly awesome. :)

 

In conclusion, it doesn’t really matter what decisions you make everyday, as long as you know it is right. ‘Cause even though you’ve made bad decisions, the results of these sometimes give you the reason to see how wonderful life is and how destiny works. I may not be a celebrated person in this world, but having the people around me, friends, family, and her, just makes everything seem so complete and perfect. I can never ask for more. Bring it on life. :)