Good Friends?

I saw Miguel de Jesus post tagging me to a note he made. And after reading it, it got me thinking of how I have been dealing with the stress of my life for the past months. Here’s the note:

You may always see me as some silly messed up person but the truth is I only use them to hide me innermost feelings; my greatest fears. Behind this mask I wear is a boy, waiting asking you, my most treasured friends to stay by my side and never again to leave me alone.
So the next time you see me act silly crazy or stupid, its just my way of breaking away from the stress, the pressure and the loneliness I feel
~Self proclaimed budoy :D

As you know, I am a certified 3rd year student at University of Santo Tomas. And given this privilege, there are many, and I cannot stress that enough, things to do, projects to make, deadlines to meet and grades to achieve for these last 2 years. And bearing that responsibility, we (students) become so stressed out from sleepless nights and not taking enough breaks through tasks. Not that I’m whining about it, but it sometimes takes us to our limit. I know every course has their way of pushing it to every student differently, so logically, every person has their own way of pushing it away. We cope equal to how much we become stressed. Maybe some people cope from stress like me. I tend to surround myself with all of my friends when I am stressed out. I don’t need anything else, just friends. Good friends at least. Where you could just talk all day, all night without minding anything else, or maybe think about it and suggest ways or help out with each others problems. That’s all I need, no material stuffs, no childish breakdowns (unless I can’t talk to anyone, which is way weird) or venting of anger to any person. And thank God for that I have these good great friends.

John Samuel Belmonte, he’s my Kuya. He’s someone you could not ignore inside your circle of friends. He’s funny, smart and most importantly he’s true to you in all aspects. I turn to him whenever I have problems, ’cause his insights, suggestions and concern triggers the warm heart inside of me. I tend to become calm more when he says “It’s going to be fine”. Not because it was 100% the truth, but his words are reassuring. I entrust to him every problem I could say ’cause I know he will help me. The Jack of all Trades. Happy days are not 1 when he’s not around. And for that Sammy, thank you! :)

Pauline Angela Nagpala, she’s whom I call Bebe. Yes, we’re very close. I tend to talk to her when it comes to loving someone. Why? Well for one she’s a girl, she knows how a girl thinks, knows how a girl would react in different situations and lastly, she’s close to that girl. I also consistently tease her to someone she likes, just to have some fun and bond. But despite those, she is currently the only girl who knows well how my heart is. To a girl, or overall. She’s a great listener and I think my days wouldn’t have been this great without her around. Thank you Bebe! :)

Aira Cheyenne Ramos, she’s the girl I share everything with. Anything I like, I love, I am interested in, I tell her. She’s the best listener I know, and whenever I talk to her, there’s just that comfortable feeling inside in me that when I am sharing, opening and venting (anger to other people) stuffs becomes so easy. She’s just a simple girl that’s so loving and lovable. If you have her as a friend, you are so lucky. She apparently knows me more, ’cause family affairs are one of the stuffs I share to her. Thank you so much Aira (she calls me Cu, I could call her Ra, but that’ll take some time to take into habit). I will always be here for you, no matter what. :)

Those are the best friends I never thought of even having. I mean, I was only asking God for good friends, and here he is giving me 3 great and awesome friends. I cannot show enough how much these people mean to me. Without them, I wouldn’t be this happy and contented.

And even though some of my friends are becoming distant to me, I will still be there for any of them when they need me. They’ve helped me a lot and there’s no saying no for me, not in a sense of gratitude of what they’ve done, but because they are my friends. And I will help my friends, as long as I can. Shout if you need me, guys. :)

Cisco Time

It’s just the start of my third year and I have many projects to make. Oh God no.. But, that doesn’t mean I don’t have time for this. Noooo. Ha ha. Example. :)

November 25, 2011. 8:10am. IT256, Cisco time.

4 of my friends have watched one of my favorite movies of all time. Byousoku 5 Centimers Per Second. It was one of those short films that made me cry. Well, I didn’t know if sensitivity played a part of it or was it just me.

*spoiler alert*

Byousoku is an anime about 3 short stories about the distance of 2 people. It depicted reality on how people live and love. As childhood sweethearts, well, for one, ’cause the 2 of them were always with each other. From the start and end of the 1st episode, they only got each other even though on the latter part they started going seperate ways for school. Frailty? Interest? Destiny? Chemistry? There are a lot of things we could think of why they became together. I would say what I think, but it would be better to think of your own.

I was initially hooked when the film started because I love watching romantic movies. Romantic + Comedy = WIN. But this was not your normal romantic movie. Why?

*spoiler alert 2*

All, well I guess just almost all romantic movies have their own happy ending. Boy getting girl, vice-versa, enemies becoming lovers, etc. But this story, just got you thinking of what can really, and I mean REALLY happen in real life in terms of loving. The second episode told the watchers how they were now apart from each other without any communication no more. I was famished actually, but I had hopes for them (when I watch, I tend to get in the story also, as a critic or a character in the story, either the protagonist or another at least to know fully how it feels). And even though the guy protagonist was somehow being loved by another girl, his heart was entangled still by his childhood sweetheart.

By that time, I was getting my hopes up for the two. The 3rd episode came and they were adults now (fudge, the intervals are long, how will they ever know each other now?). This was the concluding part on how their story ended. They (the 2 protagonists) reminisced how they were back when they were just children. How they would never forget how much they loved the company of each other, how they unintentionally parted ways, and how they wished they would see the cherry blossoms fall again.

*spoiler alert 3*

This part made me sad. Along with Masayoshi Yamasaki’s song One More Time, One More Chance I saw how Takaki Tohno and Akari Shinohara’s story flew from the start to their present where Takaki quit his job and decided to start a new life, and Akari, where showed in the film for like a split second having a ring on her finger, got married to another man. But throughout this fast-paced slides of their memories they tend to look far away, like there was something missing in their hearts.

They came back to the place where they went to see the cherry blossoms fall 5 centimeters per second. Unconsciously, they passed each other on the railroad and halfway the 2 tracks, they felt pinch on their hearts. When the 2 try to look back whether they would see each other a train blocked their view. And as you would know that the train would pass already, another train passed by just before Takaki and Akari would definitely see each other (I hated that part! Fucking trains!). When the second train railroad crossing, Akari was no longer there. And Takak, with a smile, went on his way. Closure.

My tears started to fall the moment I saw the ring on Akari’s finger ’cause I felt how Takaki loved her. The end left me sobbing. But I figured out why Takaki smiled that time. Because he knew he got to see the cherry blossoms fall again with Akari.

This romantic story gave us a realistic ending that not all stories of 2 people end the way you think they would. Sometimes something will ruin it, for instance this, distance ruined it.

We may not get what we want out of life, so when you start a story with someone you love, make the most out of it. You’ll never know what would happen. And this just proves, if you’re meant to be, you will be.

Self-esteem Test

Ability to Deal with Rejection.

 

The potential of being rejected by others as a result of who you are or what you do tends to be at the back of your mind. Although you may not live with the constant fear of being tossed away by people in your life, you may sometimes go out of your way to attain the approval of others. And this approval does matter to you, at least to some degree. Rejection by the people in your life may not shatter your self-image, but it would be quite a blow that could lead to self-doubt, discouragement, and humiliation. Realize that the only approval you should be worried about is your own – and that the potential for rejection actually starts with you. If you don’t fully respect and approve of yourself, you project an image to others that says “I am not worthy, I am not good enough for you”, which can result in the very rejection you fear.

 

40/100.

Happiness Test

Cynicism.

 

According to your responses, your perspective of humankind is neither na?ve nor jaded. Instead of assuming the best or worst of someone, you wait before making a judgment. You prefer to have others earn your trust, and although you won’t necessarily assume everyone has a hidden agenda, you’re also not the type to accept everything people say or do at face value. Tempered with a hearty dose of skepticism, this is a relatively healthy perspective. You may however, benefit from being a little more trusting. Unlike their less positive counterparts, optimists will at least try to find the good in even the most difficult of people, and are much more willing to place their faith in others. Although this doesn’t mean that you should trust the good intentions of everyone you meet, a leap of faith every once in a while couldn’t hurt.

 

42/100. :|

Anxiety Test

Existential Anxiety.

You have a fairly high level of existential anxiety, which can be best explained as a sense of dissatisfaction with life and a feeling that things are somehow beyond your realm of control. Overall, people with such an outlook often feel helpless, as though nothing is predictable or stable, and wonder why they are not as happy as other people appear to be. They may sometimes feel out of control, afraid of the future or even question whether life has any meaning. Your flashes of existential anxiety could send you on a downward spiral if you don’t get a grip on them. Adopting a more positive outlook could have a profound effect on the way you view the world, your role in it, and your level of anxiety.

77/100. Oh God. :O

Big Five Personality

Extroversion.

You are somewhat extroverted, preferring the company of others rather than spending time alone. Extroversion refers to an outward and interactive orientation. Extroverts are stimulated by being around others and are often considered gregarious or outgoing. People with this orientation usually have a lot of friends, and find it easy to interact with strangers. They tend to feel lonely and withdrawn when denied the company of others. When extroverts feel bad, low on energy, or stressed, they look outside themselves for relief. They might go shopping, call friends to come over, or arrange a party.

Emotional Quotient

You are reasonably skilled when it comes to the core ability of identifying, perceiving and expressing emotions in yourself and others. There is still, however, room for growth. Overall, your skills in this area of emotional intelligence aid you in the process of reading others, understanding how they feel, and effectively identifying your own emotions. These skills form the basis of your ability to relate to the emotions of others as well as well as your ability to understand yourself.

67/100. I passed? Ha ha. I love taking tests. :)