Like every other day, I go about my way and circle around the friends I am close to. Sometimes there are those I do not really talk to a lot, but it’s mostly the closer ones. Bad introduction, booo! Well, I at a loss for words. But here you go:
I know everyone does it, but in my case, I have been doing this a lot recently. First and foremost, every action that I take is purely instinct and wholehearted. I never use my brain except for a latter time, approvingly when I sense the sarcasm or troll value of a situation. But nonetheless, my heart goes first. I do, what I feel I want to do. That’s why I mess up priorities a lot and in this subject, I am looking back at the times where people close to me knew beforehand whatever it is I am feeling.
This past week, I’ve been thinking a lot about the past. Specifically, my actions. What the @(*&#% hell am I doing every time I’m around the closest of friends. I see myself all giggly and happy, all the time. There’s just that part of my body that loves to give happiness, show happiness and portray happiness. Well for one, being surrounded by my friends make me happy which makes me, of course, give off that amount of happiness to all around me. But I’ve sensed a lot of changes in me this past week. I sensed responsibility. For the rarest times, I’ve felt responsible in all my academics and in turn gave me power in answering this week’s exams and consultations. I also sensed ignorance. I see how I’ve become distant to my friends who keep on bugging me. I sensed maturity. This comes out once in a while, whenever something serious comes up, but it never dawdled me that I can become one in a few years. Even though I am close to being in my twenties, I always looked at myself far from becoming mature. Anyways, lastly is determination. I’ve set my goal in life and that goal is, yes, a person. It may sound weird and a pathetic goal to others who perceive power, money and fame as success, but to me true success is finding what you’re looking for in your life. ‘Cause when you’ve found it, everything else becomes easier, lighter and more bearable. I see how determined I am, or so it seems.
Even though I know this is not going anywhere. Like a 10-90 probability with 10 winning that heart. God knows my faith in Him and her.
GOOD THINGS COME TO THOSE WHO WAIT. Oyasumi nasai~ :)