August 23, 2012. I only have 6 words to describe that day. Bum, Doubted, Ignored, Lucky, Empty and Prosaic.
First off is Bum, which is me. I started the day not doing anything at all, thinking I can finish a lot of stuffs later on when I go overnight at my group mate’s house. So I surfed around the virtual life and watched some shows. And I see myself feeling assured every time of the day, when I know I’m not.
Next is Doubted, highly. We had a plan that day. We were going to go to Jecko’s house and stay there for the night to finish our thesis. But as soon as my mother came home, she had her own issues with the said plan. Arguments came and finally I wasn’t allowed to come. Of course in any normal day, I wouldn’t mind about ut much. But then again, this was for our thesis. And because of this incident, I really feel I am doubted by my group mates.
Then Ignored, a lot. A while back I have continued to think of how or who am I to the people around me. Am I someone who they want to be friends with, to be close with, or just to be aquaintances with. It feels really sad to think about it ’cause I don’t know where to stand in people’s lives. On that specific time, I was forged to think that I was someone that you can be with comfortably without even talking. But in understanding everything, I am gonna say I am also human though. It’s not regretting or anything, but I am an overacting person and I tend to overthink things a lot. So maybe in that day’s scenario, I felt somewhat ignored. Which in turn reversed my feelings about who I am. Maybe I’m not really comfortable to be with? I don’t know.
And now a favorable one, Lucky. In other news, I have experienced the best luck yesterday. With getting 90% in my Cisco 2 Lab, I am really astonished. Being sorrounded by Dean’s Listers and getting higher than them is a feat. But I should not get my hopes up, as this is really a tough subject. There’s still some room for improvement.
Now here is Empty. At the end of every day, this is still how I am in my everyday life. Not that I don’t have friends, but there is something missing in my life. This is connected directly to the next subject.
Lastly, Prosaic. I feel very prosaic these days. As if there’s nothing else to do. No goals to reach. A screeching halt in my mind that might erase my future. Everything was going fine but then suddenly I unreasonably lost track of everything. People close to me know that, but I guess if they really think of me as their close friend, they would’ve checked what was wrong. But then again who am I to impose? Maybe I just really need someone to talk to.
Where’s the poetic Erick now? :| Good day.