Lately I’ve been, I’ve been losing sleep. Dreaming about the things that we could be..
God it’s so hot right now. Summer is like bolting up the meters on Manila’s thermometer it’s making me hard to do anything I need without sweating like a giant fat ass kid. >__< but then again, it’s just a few months away before I get the cold breeze again of Ber-months and my birthday. :))
Hmm, so what did I realize these past days? It might seem like I’ve been working my ass off the few days, but I’m wondering if I really did. But all I can say as of the moment is I’ve found out something about myself that I never knew I could do. From the past time I’ve ever genuinely make an effort, I always come up short on my side and everything just goes haywire. Thankfully though, it happened. Or else I wouldn’t be here talking to the person who holds my heart dearly and I just wish, hope and pray everyday that I would be his knight and shinning armor. I never thought I could exert as much as this effort before based on my lazy personality. If push comes to shove, my impulse acting is like a winning light saber, colored red, depicting, I want to win. I need to win. And it’s really fulfilling to know that your efforts are appreciated. It’s the kind of recognition that would allow you to repeatedly manage every kind of strength you have and build it up to the person and help, protect and even love her in whatever chance you could make or get. And growing like this, I feel like I can do more and more and exert much more effort just to be closer to the person. This is how I am now. And I’m feeling ecstatic about it!
Though I may need a bit of rest at the moment. I feel as though I’m awoken and I never want to sleep ever again. Cause if I do, I think I’ll never try this out again. The best feeling in the world is to being contented and loved. That’s what I aim to feel in time. And I hope she too experiences it.
-Erick Cua. 5:19pm