The Person

It’s the person not the feeling. :)

 

Have you ever wondered why there are different kinds of feelings you experience from different kinds of people? It’s because there is just one emotion that could be associated with different people. And the emotions are just there. They never change. What changes are the people around you. The people are unique and different. The attitude, perspective and everything, very different. That’s why the way you experience these emotions different from ever person. You are happiest here, saddest here, comfortable here, etc. And I have the highs and lows to one person only. :)

 

“I look at you every day (well, kinda, weekends siguro pictures haha) And I always see you as another girl. A different girl. A unique girl. Someone who is a cut above the rest. You are nice, cheerful, very mischievous (like me), God-fearing, strong and beautiful. And now I understand why even though there are other girls in the world, and some might be better in other aspects, I still see you differently from them. It’s because you have something they don’t have, and that is my love.”

 

Take care :)

 

Erick 6:52pm

 

 

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26th

If you leave me now, you take away the biggest part of me~

 

Kudos, GTA V and Chicago, you really put that song in my head now, Haha. But still, I like that song ever since, but the meaning never got to me that much. Though this time I think it’s different. I am holding something that’s not mine, hoping to be mine, something so priceless, that I am scared to even leave it for a second.

 

Scared of losing someone. Even though I think I may suggest on my mind that I can be found miles away from the start without any contenders, there’s still a thought in my mind that people could catch up and win. I also have the phobia of creating the perfect scenario of a person learning to love herself on my end but realizes all of what I have done is not what she has been looking for. Stumbling, profoundly, waiting for a cure, that I think will never be done anymore. I care, I understand, I love and I long. That’s what I am doing now. And I won’t ever stop, until my bones break, my joints give in or me, when the one tells me purposely to stop my cause or to get the answer I needed, or dreaded. Whichever way it goes, I will take it..

 

*sighs* I am genuinely happy, but I am still genuinely scared.

 

God give me strength.

 

-Erick. 12:32pm.

“Just because I’m not forever by your side doesn’t mean that’s not precisely where I want to be.”

13th

Lately I’ve been, I’ve been losing sleep. Dreaming about the things that we could be..

 

God it’s so hot right now. Summer is like bolting up the meters on Manila’s thermometer it’s making me hard to do anything I need without sweating like a giant fat ass kid. >__< but then again, it’s just a few months away before I get the cold breeze again of Ber-months and my birthday. :))

Hmm, so what did I realize these past days? It might seem like I’ve been working my ass off the few days, but I’m wondering if I really did. But all I can say as of the moment is I’ve found out something about myself that I never knew I could do. From the past time I’ve ever genuinely make an effort, I always come up short on my side and everything just goes haywire. Thankfully though, it happened. Or else I wouldn’t be here talking to the person who holds my heart dearly and I just wish, hope and pray everyday that I would be his knight and shinning armor. I never thought I could exert as much as this effort before based on my lazy personality. If push comes to shove, my impulse acting is like a winning light saber, colored red, depicting, I want to win. I need to win. And it’s really fulfilling to know that your efforts are appreciated. It’s the kind of recognition that would allow you to repeatedly manage every kind of strength you have and build it up to the person and help, protect and even love her in whatever chance you could make or get. And growing like this, I feel like I can do more and more and exert much more effort just to be closer to the person. This is how I am now. And I’m feeling ecstatic about it!

 

Though I may need a bit of rest at the moment. I feel as though I’m awoken and I never want to sleep ever again. Cause if I do, I think I’ll never try this out again. The best feeling in the world is to being contented and loved. That’s what I aim to feel in time. And I hope she too experiences it.

 

Fighting? :)

 

 

-Erick Cua. 5:19pm