26th

If you leave me now, you take away the biggest part of me~

 

Kudos, GTA V and Chicago, you really put that song in my head now, Haha. But still, I like that song ever since, but the meaning never got to me that much. Though this time I think it’s different. I am holding something that’s not mine, hoping to be mine, something so priceless, that I am scared to even leave it for a second.

 

Scared of losing someone. Even though I think I may suggest on my mind that I can be found miles away from the start without any contenders, there’s still a thought in my mind that people could catch up and win. I also have the phobia of creating the perfect scenario of a person learning to love herself on my end but realizes all of what I have done is not what she has been looking for. Stumbling, profoundly, waiting for a cure, that I think will never be done anymore. I care, I understand, I love and I long. That’s what I am doing now. And I won’t ever stop, until my bones break, my joints give in or me, when the one tells me purposely to stop my cause or to get the answer I needed, or dreaded. Whichever way it goes, I will take it..

 

*sighs* I am genuinely happy, but I am still genuinely scared.

 

God give me strength.

 

-Erick. 12:32pm.

“Just because I’m not forever by your side doesn’t mean that’s not precisely where I want to be.”